Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
