Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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