she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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