Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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