i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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