weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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