Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
