sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
