Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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