I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
last night I used snow as a chaser
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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