just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
