apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
