I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
