I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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