So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
