So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
