He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
