turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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