she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
