know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
