Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
a search helicopter?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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