I'm going to jail i love you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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