You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
