what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
