I just made out with a guy for $7.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize