where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
