So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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