love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
