Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize