I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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