Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
