come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
