So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
