She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
