Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
