I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
