We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
