That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
