and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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