He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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