dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
