ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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