So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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