TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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