just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
