If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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