can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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