I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
