if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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