He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
