I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
