at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
