There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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