Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
