i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
