I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
