Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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