i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
