Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
