I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize