u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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