My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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