is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
