we're blogging at a bar
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
