I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We left the knife in your bed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
