a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
