Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize