I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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