oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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