Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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