One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
