No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
