If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Moan for me like Helen Keller
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
