You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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