Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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