Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
