Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
