Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
